Have PRIDE Ethics

Yes, I understand the title is a little odd. Have pride? Well, IF you are one of those lucky people who happen to celebrate their pride all June long or you are lucky enough to have one in your life, you know what this post is about. Today is a very important post because it is very, very important that everyone has pride in who they are.

This is the ethics of our understanding of spa. We see you out there strutting your stuff and we want to support you. Yeah, I worked in a corporate spa and I can completely understand exactly why people who are LGBTQ turn away. This is the purpose of this post people because today we are going to discuss the ETHICS, not the relationship advice on how everyone needs to be nice to you at your appointment. This is where to draw the line and how to choose that special spot for you.

Have PRIDE Ethics 101: Not Every Spa Professional Has to Work on You

This is important for everyone to understand. Yes, as a Licensed Esthetician, I can deny services to people that violates my view of ethics (meaning if some person came into my room and hit on me, I have the right to walk out, etc.). A lot of spa professionals may turn you down for any reason. While you can argue discrimination all day long, hands down you won’t want to endure the appointment if the professional isn’t comfortable. A denial can be a blessing in disguise and will probably happen at least once. I have only had to deny one client and they were very opinionated on LGBTQ. While that is your right….wait we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

Have PRIDE Ethics 102: What Do You Refrain from in Room

So as I was giving an example above we came across the second reason ethics are a must. I do not discuss:

• Spiritual Beliefs

• Past relationship history

• My personal life (I do ask you about kids if you are a woman because each pregnancy does different things to the skin as well as vacations) which doesn’t mean I won’t add a cute quip here or there of my own experiences. It simply means that the personal stuff like my ideas of marriage, relationships, and whether or not children exist in my life is strictly not needed in the room.

• Politics which I hate to say, does come in the room. This is a topic I’ll remove really fast because all it draws is stress.

This is not because I don’t necessarily want to connect. This is not because I don’t want to have a client/aesthetician relationship. These are areas of trauma for people that we do not realize while also being the most common reasons clients get uncomfortable at the table. While at my location, you will never be even asked if you didn’t leave the country when you were supposed to. It’s not my job to police. It isn’t my right to judge. And at any point, I have the right to leave the service as you do as well. I also swear that I will never ask about your birth gender because we have people in our lives that are right there with you. If a full drag queen comes in all her glory, I will promise never to assume that what walked in is nothing but a queen that should be treated as such unless you discuss it openly with me.

HAVE PRIDE ETHICS 103: JUST BECAUSE IT IS CORPORATE DOES NOT MEAN SAFE

The sad truth about corporate aesthetics and spas is that not always are the managers, owners, or employees spa licensed professionals. I had to do hours of ethics where no matter what comes in it's just another human being and that is it. That was all done by state licensure laws that do not apply to front counter or managerial staff. It’s sad really but that is why a lot of small businesses are really the best option for now. It really isn’t hard to find a private massage therapist. It is hard to find your own private aesthetician due to many reasons.

HAVE PRIDE ETHICS 104: WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH?

Because pride was one of the most important civil rights wins of our generation. We had women’s rights, African American civil rights, LGBTQ rights, and disability rights. Every single one of these is a monumental accomplishment and needs to be remembered as such. Why? Because we all want to be treated with dignity and respect. When I think of a spa (right now we're home-based which means we’re operating in a room in our downstairs), I picture hardwood floors with welcoming walls. I picture happy people working at their jobs, waiting to help you feel better about yourself. I picture healing, vitality, youth, peace, and serenity just in the people I am looking to work on me. If you walk in somewhere and the overall mood is exhaustion, that is not a spa. If the first thing you receive is a moral high compass intent on dragging you downwards, walk out that door. If someone makes fun of you, understand that you have every right to complain and should. We need to get the unprofessional people out of the spa industry and I hate to mention this but the perfect storm was Massage Envy about a year or so ago. It is a true understanding of how spas tend to punish bad employees. Terminate and then keep them from working for that company again. Does that remove them from practice? No, but the state licensing board will perform an investigation and WILL remove the license if they believe that the professional is a danger.

In my closing tonight, I wanted to leave everyone with a little mission. Instead of knocking each other down with judgments, let’s straighten each other’s crowns. Let’s be more aware when someone in our group asks if somewhere is a safe place for LGBTQ or need to get help with disabilities. We are all walking resources that someday may save a life. This is why I fully support everyone equally no matter what is on the outside because you can wrap a nasty attitude in a fancy wrapper. Look for the real professional who is busting everything to be there for you. That’s the ethics in the spa and have a happy pride month everyone!